You pull into the self-serve car wash, roll down your window, and stare at the control panel. Seven buttons, each promising some level of clean, shine, or magical transformation for your car. You nod confidently, like you know exactly what you’re doing—but let’s be real: do you?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Mastering the art of looking like a car wash pro while figuring things out is a rite of passage. Here’s your guide to pretending (and eventually knowing) what all the buttons do, so you can impress your car and anyone else who might be watching.
Step 1: Start with the Pre-Soak (aka “The Safe Choice”)
This is the button everyone presses first because, let’s face it, it sounds important. And it is! The pre-soak gently loosens dirt, bugs, and other unspeakable messes, prepping your car for the main event. Push it with purpose, like you’ve done this a hundred times.
Step 2: The Power Rinse (Where Things Get Serious)
Next, move to the power rinse. This is where the fun begins—high-pressure water blasting grime off your car like it owes you money. Aim confidently, spray in smooth motions, and nod like a professional. If anyone’s watching, they’ll be impressed by your precision.
Step 3: The Gentle Brush Scrub (A Crowd-Pleaser)
Now it’s time to grab the brush. Activate the soap option, and start scrubbing your car like you’re polishing a trophy. Pretend you know exactly how much pressure to apply (hint: not too much), and be sure to smile—this is the part where you really look like you know your stuff.
Step 4: Protective Wax Coat (Fancy and Effective)
This button screams “I care about my car.” Press it with flair, then coat your car in that smooth, protective layer of wax. Even if you don’t fully understand the science behind it, you can act like you do. Just imagine explaining to someone how it protects the paint from UV rays and road grime. Genius.
Step 5: Spotless Rinse (The Grand Finale)
Finish with the spotless rinse. This step ensures your car dries without streaks, giving it that showroom shine. Push the button like it’s the cherry on top of your car wash masterpiece, and admire your work.
Pro Tips for Maximum Confidence
Look the Part: Wear sunglasses or a cap to exude nonchalance.
Act Decisive: Even if you’re not sure which button to press next, press it like you mean it.
Embrace the Timer: Glance at the countdown occasionally, nodding like you’re perfectly on schedule (even if you’re winging it).
Why Fake It When You Can Nail It?
Pretending you know what all the buttons do is an art, but at Melville Car Wash, it’s also unnecessary. Clear instructions guide you every step of the way, so you’ll look and feel like a pro in no time. And hey, even if you’re still figuring it out, your car doesn’t care—it just wants to shine.
Cheers,
Mel